Post-Apocalypse Holiday Festivities!

Hello, future friends and enemies. I assume your Doomsday was as uneventful as mine and all you saw of certain “destruction” was a rainbow before rain.
Random Person: Actually, I had to fight off a ton of zombies. o_o
Pikes: …Lucky… >_>

Now, I would offer a fun game to play involving this apocalypse, but it’s nearly Christmas! And with that, I shall tell you how Santa really works! Gather around the corpse-smelling fireplace and let me tell you:

Santa actually uses his Christmas magic to either slow down or completely stop time so that way, it’s much easier to travel around the world. (There’s also a possibility of him dimension travelling). He also uses this magic to wrap presents in the same wrapping paper your parents use & uses their handwriting to make it look like they did it! Also, he gets you the presents you actually want depending on how nice you actually are.

Did your minds just asplode? I hope they did; THE STAGE PRODUCTION OF THIS STORY WILL BE MUCH MOREĀ OF A WASTE THAN THE COWBOY BEBOP LIVE ACTION MOVIE!

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